Hailey Shryock is a sophomore and is the woodwind captain of the marching band.  She enjoys writing and aspires to double major in writing and education. She wrote this essay because when she was in middle school, she didn’t like who she was, so she changed herself. A song from a musical inspired her as it resonated with her and helped her see she is perfect the way she is.

I believe that I am the coolest girl in the whole wide world. Now, this world is way too big and there are far too many girls to know that for sure. But I believe it and I always will. I’ll also always care what people think of me initially; nearly everyone does. That’ll most likely never change but, even when I’m scared of being judged, I’ll still believe that I am the coolest girl in the whole wide world. I can be put down time and time again by people I trusted; I’ll still believe it. I can be bankrupt, unemployed, and homeless; I’ll still believe it. Nothing can change that now. However, I wasn’t always this way… 

When I first got to middle school, I had my first experience with indirect bullying. I was called weird multiple times by multiple people behind my back, and a TikTok of me walking around the courtyard alone was posted without my consent. This caused me to strongly dislike the way I looked and acted. It didn’t help that I had a grand total of zero friends in sixth grade. That is when I decided I wanted to change myself, so slowly I did. In seventh grade, I bleached my hair blonde and wore my first crop top; my number of friends didn’t go up. In eighth grade, I stopped wearing my bright pink glasses, started applying makeup daily, and drastically changed my style; the number of friends didn’t budge.  

I was no longer insecure about my looks, but about my personality, which I didn’t even know was possible. I figured the reason I didn’t have any friends was because I didn’t behave the way a normal teenage girl would. This I, however, could not change. Even when I finally made friends in high school, I was still extremely insecure. I watched everything I said and did; I didn’t want them to see who I really was. I didn’t want them to know how different I was because then they would’ve ignored me and I’d be alone again, or at least that is how I imagined it playing out. I was clearly in a bad mental state during eighth grade and the beginning of freshman year. I cried whenever I thought about myself sitting alone on a bench at lunch; trying hard not to look completely pathetic. I kept a Word document on my school laptop where I would write things like, “I can’t cover up my personality with makeup and highlights” and, “My test scores were higher in elementary school because I was proud of who I was”.  

Around Christmas time freshman year, I watched A Very Potter Sequel for the first time. A Very Potter Sequel is a sequel to a fan-made Harry Potter musical. In A Very Potter Sequel, Hermione Granger is bullied for being ugly and annoying. After all the Hogwarts students sing a song making fun of her, Hermione sings a song called “The Coolest Girl”. This was a life-altering moment for me. That song caused me to delete the Word document and stop filtering my personality in front of my friends. It also helped me to understand that I don’t have to impress everybody to feel accepted because I’m freaking awesome. A lyric of the song goes, “I am the coolest girl in the whole wide world”. I sing that song or write down that lyric whenever I regain those old insecure feelings or when I’m having an anxiety attack; it has helped me so much. I now genuinely believe that I am the coolest girl in the whole wide world. And nobody can convince me otherwise. 

There have been a few past friends who have tried, and it really gets to me at first. There will always be people in my life who can’t stand me, but they can’t get rid of me. Another lyric from the song reads, “So you can try to break me down, but sorry guys, I’m sticking’ around!” This lyric helps me to remember that what others think of me is their problem because I’m literally just existing. When you’re young, the world is constantly trying to drill in your head sayings like, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out” and “Don’t care about what other people think of you” but you never take those sayings to heart until you realize them for yourself. There’s no shortcut to wisdom or self-acceptance. It’s a rough journey, “The coolest girl” obviously made me a lot more confident but, it wasn’t the only thing. My close friends, who love me and all my quirks, also make me extremely happy with myself and make me feel like the coolest girl in the whole wide world because they’re willing to be my close friends. Only the coolest girl could convince amazing people like them to tolerate a complete geeky weirdo like me… So, that’s why I believe, and will always believe that I am the coolest girl in the whole wide world.